


An Unfunny Truth

by Lightbulbs



Series: Cremfics [2]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Deeply Unserious, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Post-Book 03: Oathbringer, crempost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 11:02:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20692445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightbulbs/pseuds/Lightbulbs
Summary: Shallan admits an important Truth.





	An Unfunny Truth

Shallan was alone in her room, trying to steady herself after meeting with her brothers for the first time in what seemed like forever. She’d been so happy to see them. _ So happy, _and yet…

“Pattern,” she said, feeling light-headed. “That was…” She felt her steps grow unsteady, and she wandered to a chair set up in the corner, a chair where she’d normally do research or sketch the day’s Memories. She sat down heavily, not bothering to pick up her sketchbook.

Pattern didn’t say anything.

“It wasn’t the same,” she finally said. Her hands were shaking. “It wasn’t at all like it used to be.”

“Shallan,” said Pattern, “you need to admit the truth.”

She couldn’t. This truth would upend everything she thought about herself. It would erase one of the few things that made up the true Shallan.

“Maybe they were just tired,” she said. She’d been so charming, so witty. They hadn’t laughed, but not everyone got her sense of humor. It was understated! If they had just—

No. That wasn’t it.

Pattern buzzed encouragingly as Shallan curled into herself. She didn’t look at him. Her eyes stared out at nothing as she thought back on the meeting. On those half-hearted smiles.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “If I do… Pattern, it’s who I _ am. _It’s what I’ve been my whole life.”

“People change,” he said. He sounded almost comforting, like the quiet hum he’d sometimes sing when she couldn’t fall asleep. “Change can be good, Shallan.”

“I…this isn’t even change. This is rewriting history. It’s admitting I’m not who I thought I was.” She thought back to her days on the Davar estate, laughing with her brothers.

“Say the truth,” he said. Shallan felt on the cusp of something important. The truth gnawed inside her, aching to be set free.

“My jokes…” she whispered. Her mouth was dry. She felt an ache in her chest. “They’re…they’re not that funny.”

“A good Truth,” Pattern buzzed.

There was a gentle pulse as the Cryptic accepted her admission. Then the room filled with light, blinding in its intensity. She could feel a surge of power building within her. Her limbs became heavy. She watched as sheets of Shardplate, beautiful and tinged with a silvery blue, began to layer over her arms and legs.

The light faded. She stood, resplendent in armor, mulling over her new reality. _ My jokes aren't that funny_, she thought. She accepted her Truth.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and Adolin walked into the room. He stared, blinked once. Then he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

She could hear him yell as he ran down the hall: “Bridgeboy! There’s a mysterious Shardbearer in my room!”

There was a moment of silence.

“Ah!” said Pattern excitedly. “The punchline. It’s funny because the mysterious person is you. Yes, yes. I understand.”

Shallan groaned. At least she wasn't the only unfunny one here.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, Shallan and her dad jokes. I actually love terrible puns. For those interested, the Word of Brandon on how he approached her humor is pretty interesting: <https://wob.coppermind.net/events/188-general-reddit-2015/#e4908>.


End file.
